Sometimes I really hate to stay at home! Am I really such an eyesore?

I don't know what is the kind of feeling that is going through my heart right now. I feel happy yet "Xin Suan", contradicting right? Just viewed my best friend's friendster and sent him a comment. It's been so long since you left, been so long since we last met. Secondary school life is the school life that I enjoyed most. But it is also a time which I really feel sad as friends leave me one by one. Christian is my closest friend then, but he has to leave Singapore for some reasons. Till now, I have never seen him again. Really miss those days that we are together, those kind of brotherhood we shared. I'm happy that I have good friends now too. Good bro and buddy like Heng, Zhek and Kie Ian. But everyone is different, things we went through together are also different. No one can replace another person, everyone has something special about them. When I think of Christian's leaving, I would think of Henry. Someone that I was getting close with but suddenly died in an bicycle tournament accident. Sometimes I really do miss them even though I did not say it out. Hope Christian is doing fine and hope Henry is at somewhere peacefully looking over everyone he know.

Years past so quickly, so many things had happened around me. Life is tiring, we have to constantly remind ourselves of things that happened so as to remember the event and learn from it. So many things are going through my mind right now. People might say that I am a person that think a lot. Yes, I have to agree with them. But don't you think that people that think more are people that really have a past that they cant forget? A past that they would want to remember or to learn from it?

Actually my family has taught me quite a lot, I have also learn quite a lot from what has happened. Actually I feel that everything happens for a reason. For example; in a relationship when you are sad, you are not the only one feeling sad. When you are angry, you are not the only one feeling angry. When you are disappointed, you are not the only one feeling disappointed. Because in a relationship, when you love someone that much, both your heart are bind together, beating as one. I learn that when I am angry or sad or disappointed, I have to take a deep breathe to relax myself, after that think of what happened. When one is feeling down, he/she can't think of the best solution, he/she will tend to be less rational. My mom and sister taught me that always think of how people feel even when you are down, think of the good. Venice once taught me to have serenity to accept things that I can't change and the courage to change things that I can. Actually it is from the bible, but I remember it till this very day. I will always remember it as it really helped me through during my difficult times. The past few years a lot of things happened. As I was saying, everything happened for a reason. Sometimes you might think you are right but in the end you are not totally right. What I'm saying is, whatever we say or do might affect things or people around us and in a cycle, it might eventually affect you without you knowing you yourself is the starting cause of it.

Sorry for the long post, just want to write out some of the many things in my mind and heart. Hoping to share with people that are reading. Hope everyone is safe and happy always =)

Thank you my family, Heng, Zhek, Kie Ian, Venice for always being there for me. Last but not least, my dear for being there for me always. Thanks for understanding me, forgiving me when I made you sad and angry, thanks for loving me ! Love you Dear <3